First blog post

why would i even bother? I have plenty on my plate, so why would i want to start a blog on top of everything else? Because i have learned a crisis is always an opportunity for personal growth.  Don’t ask me about the crisis, because that is not important right now. And i need to write, so this seems like an outlet where i can hopefully share my knowledge with others and bring some degree of healing to the world.

i suppose an explanation of sorts is in order. If you look at my picture, i can only imagine what you see…a biker, drug addict, redneck, white privileged male kind of guy, so let’s set all that straight.

i am a retired chaplain. i have worked in crisis units, including Intensive Care, Neo-natal, Emergency, Psychiatry and finished up working with people who had head or spinal injuries, Palliative Care and Veterans. Yup. Veterans. And you should know i am an army brat, so that is “interesting”, to say the least. i do occasional weddings or funerals, but keep a pretty low profile. Let’s just say I love Jesus and leave it at that, ok?

You can see that i am a man of age or wisdom, or whatever you choose to call it, my family uses “old fart” a lot when i am not around, i am sure. I have been raised around white people all my life, as people of colour were not common in the bases we were stationed, at least. My friends have always been kind of “eclectic” as I meet a lot of people. Have i been a racist in my life? Oh yeah. no excuses, no bullshit…yeah. Not that colour has ever made a difference to me, but i made a bad situation worse with my “observations”. Hippie children should know better. No, my parents were not hippies. but i am a boomer and so i feel its ok to use the title. My dad would be going nuts.

i was raised around more women than men. These were strong women. My grandma, my mom, my aunts and my sisters. i remember being surrounded by women of enormous character and power. But, as was common those days, i also learned men were, ultimately, in charge, even though it did not always work that way in practice. Takes a special man to be with a strong woman and i did have the good fortune to be surrounded by men of character, my grandpa and uncles, to be sure.

So i treated women poorly most of my life. i did not realize that until recently. Making jokes about women was funny to me. and somewhere, in the back of my mind, perhaps i believed the things i was saying were true. My grandma would have put my in my place, God rest her soul.

So here is the cleansing moment, i suppose. My life has changed. i am a private person, so this blog is not about spilling my guts in public, to be sure. If it changes along the way that i feel more comfortable, then we will see. So don’t bother asking me about my personal life…

Which brings me to my “small letter i” thing. It is actually more of a pain in the ass this way, but my ego could use a little reality. Small “i” reminds me that i’m just a piece of the puzzle…it is not all about me. When you are the first-born male grandchild to live in a while, you get spoiled terribly and so, yeah, i have always been a “tad” self-centred. Let’s just say it’s a helpful tool for me.

i will not bullshit you, so don’t bother writing me bullshit. This is my healing place. The Asylum, this home is called, and so it shall be a safe place. Leave your politics, current reflections on the world situation, and whatever ill will you have towards another. This site is designed to be a safe place, so people who make others feel unsafe will be cut out like a tumour. I guarantee that, so don’t fuck with me on this issue. This is rule #1….break this rule and you are gone, along with your negative energy.

you may notice i use “the” word. i believe language should be used in its entirety and sometimes a good curse is warranted. If bad language offends you, move on along. But please know that there is such a thing as consideration of others. Use your own cussing for colour, but remember others are reading your shit.

Probably good time to let you know something about categories. Of course, i am brilliant, or i would not bother doing this at all. i know all kinds of stuff about things (vague enough?). For now, i am going to focus on my strengths…spirituality, gardening and mental health.

Ok…maybe not strengths, necessarily, but things i feel i can add to the conversation.

I make you this promise, and anyone who knows me, knows that promise will be kept: Along the way, i will share some of my journey and experiences. i will answer any honest questions, to the best of my knowledge and safety. And i hope you feel safe enough to share your journey with me. Together we can make a difference…in ourselves if no one else.

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