Go back and read the first post about A New Kind of Hero. Trying not to repeat myself too much.
Hero pic just for Jonathan.
Entitlement: “the belief that one is inherently deserving of privileges or special treatment”. There i am. Told you i was special. i got TONS of attention for being a boy. The only boy. In a while. i was special. Seriously.
i was smart. i worked hard. i drove myself, i did all the right things. i got a good education. i had fulfilling jobs. So you are right i deserve it. i work…i get a paycheck. i do a great job…i get a promotion or raise. That is just how things work, right?
Sure enough. You are entitled. You “own” your work, your own your tractor, you own your car and you have certain expectations of these things. Gotcha. Now you might argue with me about whether or not you own your pets, but i know you don’t own your wife or kids. These are people, not objects. i can’t do whatever i want to people and get away with it.
Nope. Bringing home a paycheck does not “entitle” me to anything. If i bring home paycheck it doesn’t mean my wife owes me…anything. What? She doesn’t owe me to go get my slippers, hand me my paper, or anything else. She is not mine. She is an individual with needs and desires and plans of her own. Of course we know that, right?
To give the short version we got at the seminar: Entitlement leads to Expectations. Expectations lead to Disappointment. Disappointment leads to Unhappiness (sulking). Unhappiness (sulking)…you guys don’t like word, do you?…me either…but if it quacks like a duck, but leads to Feelings of Injustice. Feelings of Injustice lead to Anger/Rage. Anger/Rage leads to Violence.
What? i would never hit my wife! Are you crazy? i know what that feels like. No way! Stop looking at the wrong end of the list. Jonathan Zinck, our speaker, had a picture of a tree up front on the screen. Entitlement is the seed, not the plant.
This image spoke volumes to me as a gardener. Unhealthy seed leads to unhealthy plants. Unhealthy seed accomplishes nothing. It is worse than no seed at all because, not only is there no plant, all the expectations i had for fruit are gone as well. Why would i want bad seeds in the garden that is my life?
If i allow that seed of Entitlement to grow, then what? Will i go out and buy a gun and shoot a whole bunch of people. I can tell myself movies and tv shows are not real, etc.
But what was chilling, was the video we were shown of some guy who killed a bunch of people and left a video for people to see after the actions took place.
And the whole thing was full of “it is your fault” that i am this way. You have forced me to do this by not giving me what i deserve. You know. The girls wouldn’t sleep with him. No one loved him. He likely had a bad childhood as well. Maybe, like me, he had a mental illness.
i don’t remember his name. i really do not want to publicize some raging killer’s name, it just gives someone else encouragement. We were shown a list of the victims. Much more sobering, i tell you.
It does not matter who he was because this shit is happening every day somewhere. Angry men going around shooting people. It’s everywhere. And that, men, is the end result of trying to own a human being. People get badly injured or die. People are never the same. People get hurt and broken and we really don’t want that, do we?
Then deal with the seed. Before it grows. Don’t even let that thing take root. And if it has taken root, and if you, dear man reader, feel as entitled as i have most of my life, root it out. Treat it as a cancer. It is serious shit. So the last part of the seminar was more solution oriented. Good. By this point i was feeling a little raw. Good. It hurts to take out a tumour. It should.
Next we get to talk about the solution. And i’m not going to tell you. i’m sneaky that way.