Where to go from here?

Beginning to settle into a more routine existence here in London.  Sarah and i will be going to Curacao in week or less.  After, we are going up north for a week or so and then Sarah goes on a trip with her friend, Darcie.  Then Sarah is home up north for about three weeks and then off for a pilgrimage walk in Portugal.  Sheesh!

Did some cooking.  Some damn fine cooking.  Sarah has also been cooking.  More damn fine cooking.  Been looking at seed catalogues and getting ready for gardening season.  Really enjoying myself.  And, of course, spending time with my angel.

But focussing on writing has been difficult.  Lots more distractions, for one thing, and that is tough on a guy who is distracted by lint floating in sunlight.

And i have been gloriously happy and grateful.  Marvelling at changes in myself that i would have thought impossible not so many months ago.  And so i wondered to myself, vainly, I suppose:  am i done?  Is there anything else i have to offer?  So i began reading earlier posts.  And i say, “of course!”

i began my journey with the hope of becoming a better human being.  i am working on that continually, for how does the process of personal growth and it’s many challenges ever cease?  If my illness is largely under control, then this is an excellent time for me to focus on personal growth.  New things are happening in me and around me all the time, so if you will bear with me, dear readers, i will continue to share my journey.

i also recognized the incredible learning which has taken place as i read your articles and posts, reflecting on your own journey.  i did not realize so much support and encouragement could be found in an online community.  My journey would be so much poorer and my growth that much more limited without all of you.  Thank you.

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Of course, i will begin to focus on more stuff about gardening, just because i know some of you are doing the same thing.  Many of you are a lot closer to actual Spring weather than we are, so writing will help me to organize my thoughts.

Our season is shorter up north, but we get more hours of sunlight in the summer…up to 16 hours at its peak, i believe.  So things even out if proper care is taken to grab the sun’s energy while it is abundant.

i also need to grab every opportunity to grow and develop as a human being.  i continue to struggle with anxiety, especially in loud and confusing places.  i continue to struggle with not being organized.

i am still learning how to prioritize what is essential; things on which my Recovery depends.  Eating properly, taking meds responsibly, sleeping well, exercising regularly and socializing with others are not options for me.  They are essential and i need to keep them in the forefront.

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I ramble sometimes, as you already know.  Maybe i am rambling now.  But it healthier for me to ramble here, with you, than for me to retreat into my inner recesses and end up even worse than i began.  So thanks for sharing the journey.  Thanks in advance for the new learnings coming my way from you.

Reflective John

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